Intake

• Non-fat yogurt w/granola and frozen blueberries
• Half a bagel w/peanutbutter
• 1 baseball-sized amount of scrambled eggs
• 1 piece of French bread w/smart balance butter
• 5 forkfuls of greens
• 1 bowl of granola w/skim milk
• 1 cup of hot chocolate w/whipped cream
• Hummus quesadilla w/sour cream and lettuce

Outtake

A few situps but nothing to call home about. I wore workout clothes all day but I just couldn't bring myself to work out.

Thoughts

I'm ashamed to say I drank the hot chocolate because I was sad/disappointed in my boyfriend and I felt like I needed the comfort of my favorite drink ever. Not good! That sounds suspiciously like "emotional eating," which I've read is the reason a lot of people gain excess weight. I don't want to be that person! Indulgences in sweets should be calculated and deserved. Like "I've been exercising and eating healthy food for x number of days, so I think I've earned my right to eat x."

Another observation is that the fact that I've gained some weight makes me feel self conscious around my boyfriend and it's affecting our relationship. For example, I don't want him to see my stomach. He has no idea I'm worried about the weight gain. I'm sure he must have noticed the extra 10 pounds since the beginning of the relationship but I still don't want to bring it up because I don't want to draw any attention to it. I feel silly for worrying about something like this, but it is what it is. I'm not an insecure person and I do love my body, but somehow it feels different knowing I'm in a relationship with someone. All of a sudden, my body isn't just for me anymore. It's for him, too. And I don't want to disappoint.

Yummies

• 3 forkfuls of scrambled eggs
• 5 forkfuls of salad greens
• 2 base-ball-sized lemon pancakes
• 1 medium-sized apple
• 1 piece of veggie lasagna
• 2 rolls w/butter
• 3 forkfuls of salad greens and chickpeas
• 3 forkfuls of mashed potatos
• 1 slice of apple pie
• 1 scoop of vanilla ice cream

Phew! I'm at a retreat right now with well-known delicious food and it's the last time I'll be here for undergrad. I definitely don't want to miss out! I'll be more careful. Tomorrow I'll be sure to eat more because there will be a full breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Exercise

• None at all! I'll stretch and do some push-ups after my food settles, though. I will update if I eat anything else or exercise more than what I wrote.

Thoughts

I didn't need to eat that second roll; I still got the taste of the great cooking here without having to have 2! I should have substituted that with some more salad. I also could have been more proactive and cut the slice of apple pie in half; it was a little larger than what I would have selected for myself.

I thought of something today that I think is one of my common exercise stumbling blocks, so I'll share it now. Really, it all comes down to showering. If I have already showered that day, then I am not interested in working out. Maybe I've already done my hair and put makeup on and I'm not willing to change into workout attire, work out, shower, and then change back. Another common shower-related problem is that I feel that I have enough time to work out, but I don't have enough time to walk back to my dorm, shower, and change. Because I don't want to walk around campus for the rest of the day smelling like my own sweat, then I often stop myself from working out at all, convincing myself that I'm saving time.

I don't think I have any answers to how I might be able to resolve this. It is not possible to wake up early enough before class to work out, shower, and then get dressed for the day (even though I see this method as ideal). Even if I did, perhaps I would have to wake up even earlier to get something in my stomach and wait for it to settle first. When I'm observing high school classes that start at 7:40 AM, that's not really an option. Even when I have my 9 AM classes I feel like that's not really an option. So, this will still be in the back of my head. As I move forward with real sweat-inducing cardio workouts, I'll also update on how I'm managing the making time for showering thing.

It is the final stretch of my senior year of college (just 50 days left until graduation!) and I am a busy, busy girl. I have time to exercise 2-3 times a week right now. BUT I still want to stretch every day.

Right now, I'm focusing on my intake. Am I eating healthy? Am I drinking enough water? Am I eating too much dessert? Too much bread? Not enough protein? I will be keeping this in mind the next couple of months until I have time to exercise regularly!